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While the prediction of the demise of planet earth
in 2012 was announced centuries ago by the Mayans and has
since been considered in varying degrees by astrologists,
numerologists and scientists, Hollywood has stepped forward
to toss its own scenario into the mix with Roland Emmerich's
lavish doomsday thriller, 2012.***
A high-tech disaster guru who in a lesser lifetime
might have excelled as head of a hi-rise demolition crew
or the guy with the end of the world sign patrolling your
neighborhood, Emmerich (Independence Day, The Day After
Tomorrow) doesn't mess around when intent on messing up
the world for good. But his pop apocalypse multiplying man's
worst fears, always goes down easy with a side order of
popcorn.***
As scary geographical events begin to escalate around
the planet as that fateful date of 12/21/12 approaches,
including major quakes and tsunamis, ordinary citizens go
about their daily lives while politicians, tycoons and scientists
fret in secret. In other words, most people are doing pretty
much what they always do when dire predictions about the
world come to light - nothing.***
And for West Coast bottom feeder novelist Jackson Curtis,
the fact that the ground is shifting under his feet more
than a little lately, is the least of his worries. It's
a particular downer of a day as Curtis fetches his kids
from the estranged ex-wife (Amanda Peet) he still longs
for, while under the suspicious watchful eye of her new
boyfriend, and heads over to Yellowstone National Park for
a family outing.***
And as cities appear to be getting cooked from below
and disintegrate in what is described as a microwaving of
the planet, the majority of ho hum folks can't seem to make
up their minds whether to flee the end of the world, or
do the laundry. Not so for the worry wart US president (Danny
Glover) and nervous wreck government geologist Adrian Helmsley
(Chiwetel Ejiofor), who remain stubbornly solution oriented
in a seemingly hopeless situation.***
But the only guy around who seems to have a handle on
exactly what's going down, is Woody Harrelson's Yellowstone
hairy woodland hermit and conspiracy theorist, wouldn't
you know it. Who broadcasts frantically on web radio about
impending doomsday from his mountaintop perch, before ill
advisedly bonding with a volcano. But the only ones who
seem to be giving a listen to the suspected madman are Curtis,
and the watchful US military lurking about.***
Accumulating cracks in the earth's surface aren't the
only issues plaguing this movie, there are plenty of cracks
in narrative logic as well, as earth's expiration date approaches.
Including exactly how a couple of futuristic neo-Noahesque
arks are going to simply sail off into the sunset with financially
endowed folks who can afford the high price tag cruise,
while leaving the rest of humanity behind to fend for themselves.***
An overload of half baked individual stories aside,
2012 is certainly a super-scary ride as skyscrapers topple
and tsunamis bury entire countries underwater in split seconds.
While Emmerich proceeds not without some comic relief mischief
in mind on occasion, as when an overly enterprising Russian
with a mean geriatric right hook schemes under the sway
of the new capitalism, to take along a fleet of luxury cars
with him on a gigantic lifeboat of sorts, to safe haven
if not the afterlife.***
But the film's repetitive disasters that peak far too
often with a running time of nearly three hours, even as
the kindness of strangers is at a premium and rarely kicks
in, can be more exhausting than terrifying, and tends to
veer towards cinematic overkill.
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