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“Race to Witch Mountain” is just fine for the audience
it was intended for. It has pretty much everything younger
kids would enjoy: aliens disguised as teenagers, cool special
effects, a few chase sequences, funny characters, funny
dialogue, and even Dwayne Johnson (who doesn’t seem to like
being called The Rock anymore, even though it was his professional
wrestling name for many years). ***
Is this to suggest that adults won’t respond to it?
Probably, although it might attract those who saw the original
1975 film “Escape to Witch Mountain,” especially since this
remake includes cameo appearances by Kim Richards and Ike
Eisenmann. While I concede that this is a decent kid’s film
made in the spirit of entertainment, I just can’t bring
myself to recommend it. Watching it, I got the impression
that most kids will let it go as soon as they grow up. ***
The story revolves around a Las Vegas cab driver named
Jack Bruno (Johnson), who’s trying to go straight after
getting involved with a notorious crime boss. One day, he
gets two unexpected fares: Sara (AnnaShophia Robb) and Seth
(Alexander Ludwig), siblings from another planet who are
trying to recover their crashed spaceship and return to
their home planet. ***
As Jack quickly learns, they each possess incredible
abilities. Sara can read minds and mentally communicate
with dogs. She can also manipulate inanimate and electronic
objects, as seen when she withdraws $15,000 in cash from
an ATM. Seth can alter the density of his body at a molecular
level, which means he can pass through solid objects one
minute and withstand the force of a speeding vehicle the
next. ***
Already hot on their trail is a relentless government
agent named Henry Burke (Ciarán Hinds), who, like all villains
in such stories, wants to capture them and run a series
of experiments. In order to steer clear of him, Jack, Sara,
and Seth turn to Dr. Alex Friedman (Carla Gugino), a scientist
whose theories on the existence of extra terrestrial life
are laughed at, even by a group of UFO nuts at a Vegas sci-fi
convention. ***
Alex then turns to Dr. Donald Harlan (Garry Marshall),
the kind of person who not only believes in aliens, but
is also convinced that abductions and crop circles and mind
probes are real. He provides Alex, Jack, and the siblings
with maps and photos of Witch Mountain, a heavily fortified
rock protrusion where it seems the spaceship is being held.
***
As it turns out, Sara and Seth have more to worry about
than greedy government agents. For reasons I won’t reveal,
a ruthless alien assassin known as a Siphon is sent to stop
them from returning to their planet. Other than the fact
that this Siphon wears a very futuristic spacesuit, drives
a small hovercraft, and shoots lasers, there really isn’t
much to this character. Maybe it would have been better
to eliminate this subplot altogether and just have Burke
be the main villain. ***
That way, more time could have been spent on the development
of Jack. We know he has a criminal record. We know he got
mixed up with a crime boss. We know he wants to clean up
his act and earn honest money. But why is he helping Sara
and Seth? Is there a reason why he decided to get involved?
If there is, why isn’t the audience let in on it? The best
that can be said is that, if Jack didn’t help Sara and Seth,
there wouldn’t be a story. ***
Nevertheless, there is an innocence to this movie that’s
somewhat charming. In spite of the chase scenes, the laser
blasts, and the threat of government experiments, “Race
to Witch Mountain” is not a death and destruction extravaganza.
Even occasional appearances by mafia henchmen are treated
almost as playful interludes. ***
If anything, the film is more interested in creating
an atmosphere of adventure and fun, especially in terms
of Sara and Seth, who are delightfully ignorant in the ways
of human customs and American vernacular. It does get tiresome
after a while, but at least they sound like they come from
another world. They don’t look much like they come from
another world, but then again, who’s to say that aliens
look any different from humans? For all we know, humanoids
may be the only high-functioning beings populating the universe.
***
I digress. The problem here is that, for everything
this film achieves on levels of special effects, story,
and character, I just couldn’t bring myself to care very
much about it. Maybe I’m just too old for it--not all movies
are meant for my age group, after all. Still, isn’t it better
when they make movies that everyone and not just kids can
enjoy? “Race to Witch Mountain” is occasionally fun, and
I admit that I enjoyed the way it looked, especially during
the later scenes, when Jack, Alex, Sara, and Seth find themselves
deep inside the titular mountain. ***
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